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Ask Savvy: Should I Split the Mortgage With My Boyfriend Who Earns More?

SavvySugar — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 13:00:54 -0800

Dear Savvy,

My boyfriend and I are looking to buy our first home together. He makes about $25,000 more than me per year and we both have similar expenses when it comes to our loans (I make about $56k and he makes about $81k). We're very realistic that relationships don't always work out in the end, but right now, we're very happy and believe we will get married and have children in the future.

Because I cannot afford as much of a monthly payment on a mortgage as he can, he has told me he wouldn't mind paying more than me. I told him that, realistically, the smart way to think about this is as a business transaction, and in the end, if we do split up, I will still get 50 percent of our house, but he will have paid more into it. He really appreciated my honesty on this point, but hadn't thought about it himself.

He then said he could pay the bills or food or something else to ensure I wasn't broke at the end of every month, if we did choose to buy a nicer house than we could if using only my salary. What's your opinion on this? Do you think we should split the mortgage payment in half no matter what? When you add our salaries together, we are doing pretty well, but I alone couldn't get my own mortgage. Please give me as much advice as you can before I buy my first home!

To see my answer,

Forbes Ranks Hollywood's Top-Earning Power Couples

SavvySugar — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:30:00 -0800

If success is a turn-on, then the hot power couples in Hollywood must be lusting after each other to no end. These may be two-income households, but both halves can hold their own in millions. The jury is out on who tends to pick up the check, but Forbes has declared which pairs fit the bill as the top-earning couples in Hollywood. Here are the top 10 from the magazine's list of Hollywood's 20 Top-Earning Couples along with how much they earned this year.

Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart: $22 million
Tony Parker and Eva Longoria: $22.5 million
Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman: $25 million
Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani: $28 million
Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann: $30 million
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: $34 million
Tim McGraw and Faith Hill: $35 million
David Beckham and Victoria Beckham: $58 million
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith: $85 million
Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles: $162 million

Source

Would You Spend the Holidays Apart to Save Money?

SavvySugar — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:45:30 -0700

My best friend is in her first few months of blissful marriage and she and her husband are busy planning their first holiday season as newlyweds. The plan is to visit his family on the East Coast, but because of an unpredictable income in a weak economy, she has been considering staying at home in California while her husband travels east. She is fine with spending the holidays apart, but knows that the family wouldn’t take the news well if she sat this season out, so she’s being a (reluctant) trooper and spending the dough. Would you spend the holidays away from your special someone to save money?Source

Would You Spend the Holidays Apart to Save Money?

Yes, I'd spend the holidays apart to save.

No, I wouldn't sacrifice the holidays together to save money.

Something else. I'll tell you in the comments below.

Maxed Out: A Couple Plays the Financial Blame Game

SavvySugar — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 09:30:22 -0700

While this episode of Maxed Out was filmed many months before the recent slew of economic news, the home equity credit trouble the couple has in the show is connected to what's going on today: According to The New York Times, Americans owed about $593 billion in home equity loans in 2003, but the current related debt is $1.1 trillion. The couple in this Maxed Out, Rhonda and Les, make a combined income of $104,000 but they've used up their total $100,000 home equity credit line and don't have a penny in savings.

When financial guru Allison Griffiths asks the couple why they came to her for help, Rhonda doesn't skip a beat with her answer that "he spends too much," to which Les turned the pointed finger back around. Allison says the first problem to tackle is getting them to share responsibility for their shared debt. Find out how she helps them when you

What's So Special About Used Cars?

SavvySugar — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 09:30:39 -0700

One recurring, slightly-heated discussion in my home revolves around cars. Am I a car person? Definitely not. But my better half is obsessed with them. It's healthy that we're getting our opinions out now as we're attempting to be more financially compatible, and it really does feel like most conversations end on a progressive note.

I truly think used cars are in my blood, because it's really difficult for me to see why a new car is better than a gently used one. The Motley Fool and I may just be related, as it recently published five solid reasons why a used car is a good idea; in my opinion, number two provides the strongest argument against new cars.

Cars are more reliable than ever. Pick up a copy of Consumer Reports annual auto issue to study reviews of the best used cars.
Avoid the worst of the depreciation hit. A car's value goes down the most during the first two or three years of ownership. Purchasing a car that's only a couple years old will last you for many years and miles and you'll save a ton.

Check out three more reasons to buy a used car when you

How to Become More Financially Compatible as a Couple

SavvySugar — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 09:30:26 -0700

There's nothing romantic about money. It can buy lovey-dovey getaways and tokens of our affection, but money in itself is a topic that brings a business aspect to relationships. This element doesn't have to detract from a relationship based on love, but it often does, and Tara Siegel Bernard of The New York Times argues that "marriage at its core is still a financial union." Because it's an undeniable part of our existence, Tara gathered guidelines for becoming a more financially compatible couple.

Talk and share goals. Before walking down the aisle, ask tough questions like who will care for any children and retirement goals.
Run a home like a business. Share the responsibilities of budgeting and tracking finances, and make important decisions together.
Be supportive of careers. Encouragement and support from the person you're with can help you succeed in your career.

Discover four more pointers when you

Some Prenups Expanding to Include Health Insurance Clauses

SavvySugar — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 04:00:38 -0700

Prenuptial agreements are traditionally designed to dictate what will happen with a couple's finances in case of divorce, and now they're expanding to include some clauses for other money-related issues.

Health care is something that's already pushing some couples to the altar; in just the past year, seven percent of adults in the US married for health insurance. Insurance doesn't come cheap and it can be difficult to find good coverage that isn't very expensive — that's why some couples are designing prenups with a clause allowing for continued health insurance should they divorce.

The appearance of these clauses suggests health care is a big worry for those looking to the future. What do you think of the inclusion of health insurance in prenups?

Source

Ask Savvy: How to Manage Money as a Couple

SavvySugar — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:30:39 -0700

Dear Savvy,

My fiance and I combined our finances shortly after we got engaged last August, and I am in charge of managing our money. We're getting married in November. Right now, we pay everything we can with a credit card. This includes any bills we can charge (phone, cable, rent) and all our daily expenses. The plan was that every month we would pay off the card. I figured this would make sure that we never overdrew our checking account.

The problem is that every month it seems like we spend a little more than we can send to the card, and over time that amount is really adding up. My credit is very good, and the card we use was originally in my name only, so we have a very low interest rate. However, it was never my intention for us to be carrying a balance on this card.

I'm afraid if we switch to using a check card and paying all bills directly from checking, we'll risk overdrawing the account. But I know the current credit card plan isn't working, because we are just going into debt. I need help!

See my advice when you

Maxed Out: Debt Threatens to Divide a Couple

SavvySugar — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 12:30:04 -0700

This episode of Maxed Out is about Sondra and Ashton, a couple who has been living together for about a year and share careers in counseling but have opposite money habits. Sondra is 28 years old and Ashton is 25, and while he is taking trips with the money he's saved she is tinkering on the edge of bankruptcy.

Ashton's saving ways have put him in a good financial place but Sondra's spending tendencies have put her $56,000 in debt. Find out more about their situation and Sondra's plan to get out of debt when you

Would You Be Angry If Your Husband Trashed Your Catalogs?

SavvySugar — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 06:32:27 -0700

In her New York Times column "A Conflict That Came in the Mail," writer M.P. Dunleavey divulges a recent incident with her husband. She thought their financial communication was healthy until she made a small discovery: "My happy little financial harmony bubble went pop the other day, however, when my husband acknowledged that for the last couple of months, when he picked up our mail, he had been chucking all my catalogs in the trash."Her husband looked at catalogs as unnecessary evils and attempted to remove temptation. In the end, however, Dunleavey got her way and started getting her catalogs again.

Would You Be Angry If Your Husband Trashed Your Catalogs?

Yes, I'd be angry that he was trying to control things.

I wouldn't be happy about it, but no catalogs would probably be for the best.

No, it seems like a small issue and I wouldn't be angry about it.

Something else. I'll tell you in the comments below.

Man Must Pay $150,000 For Breaking Engagement "Contract"

SavvySugar — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 08:00:02 -0700

Breaking up is rarely uncomplicated, but the stakes rise considerably when one person in the relationship has made financial sacrifices for the other. Rosemary Shell took a substantial pay-cut when she moved from Florida to Georgia to be with her then fiancé Wayne Gibbs. She earned $81,000 a year, plus a 15 percent bonus at her previous job and her new position in Georgia paid only $31,000 a year.

Three days before the wedding, Wayne left Rosemary a breakup note in the bathroom, and later she learned that he was unfaithful during their engagement. Her revenge? A lawsuit claiming breach of contract. The three day trial decided that Wayne must pay his ex-fiancée $150,000 for financial loss and humiliation.

Rosemary's lawyer focused on arguing the broken contract, which I'm assuming is the broken engagement. Are engagements contracts? Do you agree with the jury's decision to punish Wayne for his heartless ways?

Source

What Happens If My Husband Has Bad Credit, or No Credit at All?

SavvySugar — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:30:35 -0700

You know it's important to maintain your own credit identity when you're married, but here's what ehadams is curious about: "What happens to credit when you get married? For example, if he has bad (or no credit) and you have excellent credit, what happens?" The answer to this is less complicated than going through the process of changing your last name! Find out what it is when you

Maxed Out: 20-Something Newlyweds, $100,000 in Debt

SavvySugar — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 06:31:25 -0700

Maxed Out is finally back with some new episodes, and it seems like the show will never run out of material. This episode is about Erin and Darryl, newly-wedded 20-somethings who have managed to dig themselves into over $100,000 in debt.

They have $16,500 in credit card debt, $25,000 in student loans, and owe their parents a whopping $60,000. At the rate they are going, it will take nine years and $39,000 in interest for them to become debt free. Find out how financial guru Alison Griffiths helps them figure out a plan when you

Do You Spend Without Checking in With Your Husband?

SavvySugar — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 11:01:50 -0700

If you wanted to buy, say a new pair of Loubs to fulfill your everlasting desire for red-soled shoes, would you have to consult your husband? And if he wanted to go on a Best Buy binge, would he need to check in with you to negotiate a limit?

Discussing spending priorities is a must when you're pooling your money, and some couples make a rule that they cannot spend over a certain amount without first checking with each other. Is there a rule in your household that calls for checking in, or do you have total freedom when making a purchase?

Financial Considerations For Newlyweds

SavvySugar — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 12:27:31 -0700

Ideally you hashed out the His and Hers money issues before you said I do, and beginning your marriage with openness about finances will set the tone for constant and comfortable communication. A good place to start is the three-bucket approach: One shared and two individual accounts helps to maintain a sense of independence while combining funds for shared expenses eases you into the idea of combining funds, though this approach isn't for everyone.

You can always rethink your married money situation later if you feel another approach better suits you, as there's not a single formula that works for all couples. There are additional money issues to consider aside from spending habits and who is responsible for paying off which debts. Find out what they are when you

I'm Not Saying She's a Gold Digger . . .

SavvySugar — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 11:08:53 -0700

London's credit crunch and financial turmoil has unfortunately mirrored that of the US, and finance types in the British capital are preparing themselves for reduced bonus payouts this year. While these guys are dreading to see how the year's financials actually play out, they're also being played by the women who said for better or for worse.

The head of a London law firm noted that "Historically during a financial downturn the divorce rate amongst high earners has increased," and based on this assumption the firm recently surveyed 100 analysts, stockbrokers, and hedge fund managers. It showed that 80 percent of them expect more women will serve divorce papers before their husbands' fortunes deteriorate further, and one out of 10 is concerned about his own wife asking him for a divorce.

Have You Dated a Guy Because of His Money?

SavvySugar — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 06:26:27 -0700

Study after study has shown that women become more attracted to a man once they discover he's wealthy, and MSN Money goes as far as calling money an aphrodisiac. The article's author talks about a time when she formed a relationship based on money: "At that point in my life, I was tired of living hand to mouth, worrying how the bills were going to get paid and making the dreaded weekly choice between martinis and food. I liked the lifestyle he had, and I wanted a piece of it, too."While many women admit to falling for dollar signs, most acknowledge that it isn't enough to build and maintain a successful relationship. Has the knowledge of a guy's wealth been enough to get you on a date with him?Source

Have You Dated a Guy Because of His Money?

Yes. I've dated a guy because of his money.

No. There's never been a time that I've dated a guy for money.

Other. I'll tell you in the comments below.

The Marriage Penalty, Explained

SavvySugar — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:31:41 -0700

We can't expect everything to be roses when two become one, and taxes after marriage can be surprisingly complicated (not that taxes are ever a simple cup of tea). Combining two salaries means you have a bigger pot to brew, but it could also mean that you end up paying more taxes as a married couple than when you both were single. Or it could mean less taxes. See what I mean — complicated. Find out more about the marriage penalty when you

Is Bad Credit a Dealbreaker in Serious Relationships?

SavvySugar — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 08:04:12 -0700

Once you learn to love the little things about your guy, there are bigger issues that naturally surface, as your relationship gets more serious. You've seen him handle money from the first date night out, but you never get a glimpse of how he really handles money until further down the road. Brette McWhorter Sember, author of The Complete Credit Repair Kit knows several couples that didn't tie the knot because of one partner's atrocious credit score. It's important to be on the same financial page in terms of goals and a sense of well-being, but hopefully it's possible to postpone a wedding until both parties' finances are in order instead of calling it off altogether. Would someone's bad credit scare you away from being his wife? Source

Is Bad Credit a Dealbreaker in Serious Relationships?

Yes, I need someone who has a history of being responsible with money.

It depends how they got into credit trouble (bad decisions vs. bad luck).

No, it's something that can be improved over time and isn't worth sacrificing a good relationship.

Other. I'll tell you in the comments below.

Your Two Cents: Could You Work With Your Husband?

SavvySugar — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:08:13 -0700

Plenty of family businesses are run by husband and wife teams that manage to share their professional lives without driving each other bonkers, and many couples actually met while working together and feel comfortable with one another in and out of the office. Taking this idea one step further, the New York Times ran a piece about women who are the CEOs of their companies and hire their husbands to work for them in less-powerful roles. These arrangements require successful communication from both parties and expectations that are understood on the same page. Do you think you'd be able to handle working with your husband? Source

Your Two Cents: Could You Work With Your Husband?

Yes, I could absolutely work with my husband.

Maybe, but it would really depend on the situation.

No, working together wouldn't be good for my relationship.

Other. I'll tell you in the comments below.

Woman Selling House and Love Online: Savvy or Sad?

SavvySugar — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 06:29:19 -0700

Craigslist and eBay have been the stomping grounds for some interesting sellers recently: there's the Australian dude who found a buyer to take over his life, the bride who found Dr. Pepper to sponsor her wedding, and now a Florida resident is selling her home along with a chance at love. These are certainly unique efforts and shows that some people aren't shy to take chances during tough times. Deven Trabosh is a homeowner in South Florida and a 42-year-old single mother searching for love. Her home was on the market for a year before she conceptualized her plan to combine her real estate and romantic needs. The ads posted on Craiglist and eBay invited potential buyers to "Marry a Princess Lost in America," and she explained to reporters, "I'm struggling. I don't want to lose my house, and I want to find somebody. So I came up with this dream plan, because I've always dreamed about being a fairy-tale princess." She's received 500 responses but none of them have been serious offers. What do you think of her dream plan? Is it savvy or sad? Source

Woman Selling House and Love Online: Savvy or Sad?

It's savvy!

It's sad!

I think it's a combination of the two.

Other. I'll tell you in the comments below.

Would Your Job Take a Back Seat to Your Husband's Job?

SavvySugar — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 08:02:30 -0700

Almost half of you are sure that your guy would be supportive if you earned more than him and 33 percent of you already do earn more. When I read a CNN article titled "Career couples fight over who's the 'trailing spouse'" I immediately wondered what you all would say about it. It mentions a 2007 study of 9,000 married men and women ages 25-59 whose responses determined it's common to place more emphasis on the man's career. This especially seems to be the case when a couple relocates because of the man's career choices, leaving the woman to find work that may not be as good as the job she left. When asked why she thinks the woman's career takes a back seat, the study's author says, "More often than not, men and women are taught to play very different roles within marriage. Women are socialized to play a homemaking role within the family, whereas men are encouraged to focus on their careers and breadwinning."Source

Would Your Job Take a Back Seat to Your Husband's Job?

My career does take a back seat.

Yes, my career would take a back seat if I were married.

No, but I could see it happening if we were to relocate.

No, and I don't predict that would ever happen.

Other. See my comments below.

Is Financial Infidelity Just as Damaging as a Physical Affair?

SavvySugar — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 04:10:37 -0700

Tara Padua Wise is a perpetual shopper who coined the term "fashion espionage" and is the subject of The Wall Street Journal's video profile on "Spouses Who Spend and Pretend." According to Tara, fashion espionage is ripping the tags off a new item and letting it hang in the closet for a month or two, and then coyly telling her spouse that he's seen it before when she finally does wear something new.

About half of you admitted that you've committed financial infidelity. Dr. Bonnie, author of Financial Infidelity says that financial infidelity can be just as damaging as any physical affair. Do you think she's right? Check out Tara and Dr. Bonnie in the video below.

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Would You Get a Joint Checking Account With Your Boyfriend?

SavvySugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:22:37 -0700

We've shared opinions about combining money (or not) as a married couple, but how many of you have ever explored the idea of opening a joint account with your boyfriend? I can see how it could be convenient if you're living together and splitting bills, but it doesn't seem like it's a common thing to do before a couple is engaged or married. What's your take? Source

Would You Get a Joint Checking Account With Your Boyfriend?

Yes, I would get a joint account with my boyfriend.

Yes, but only for money that would go to bills.

I already have a joint account with my boyfriend!

Maybe, but it's not that hard split bills with separate accounts.

No, I wouldn't get a joint account with my boyfriend.

Other. See my comments below.

Splitting Bills When One of You Is in Debt

SavvySugar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 12:34:38 -0700

Taking the cohabitation step with your honey is a big deal and it may take some time to adjust to the new arrangement. It also requires more thoughtfulness on both accounts, and inevitably more money talk is involved as bills and rent need to be paid.

A friend of mine is moving with her guy to another state in just a few months. Her boyfriend is working and going to graduate school and has accumulated debt in the form of student loans, while she works as a waitress and has an unpredictable income stream. She wanted my opinion about whether or not she should pay a larger percentage of bills or rent because of her boyfriend's debt. Find out what I told her when you

Do You Split the Grocery Store Bills?

SavvySugar — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 08:02:58 -0700

The ever increasing cost of living means it's getting harder and harder to shave grocery store bills and families are turning to drastic measures like stockpiling food in an effort to save money. Do you divide up your grocery store bills with your roommates or fella or do you pay for your own stash of snacks, staples and treats?Source

Do You Split the Grocery Store Bills?

No. I pay for all my own food or the items I will eat.

Yes. I split food costs down the middle with my honey, family or roommates.

Not really. We rotate. Whoever goes to the store pays.

Something else. See my comment below.

Prenups Are Legally Binding, But Not Everywhere

SavvySugar — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 12:37:19 -0700

Charlotte's first Sex and the City husband, Trey McDougall, comes from Scottish blood, but he'd probably be a proponent of the UK Law Commission's discussion to make prenuptial agreements legally binding.

Americans are no strangers to the legal contracts that outline the division of assets in case of divorce, while couples in the UK haven't been operating under the same options. Remember when Paul McCartney paid Heather Mills a settlement of $48.6 million as the result of an intense divorce proceeding? The exhausting process and enormous payout could have been avoided if English courts recognized prenups.

Opponents of legally binding prenups are concerned about a higher divorce rate, but proponents argue that without these contracts some couples aren't getting married at all, especially if they've had a previous marriage. There's plenty of time to argue; The Law Commission plans on publishing a drafted bill in 2012 and its projected that it would be 2014 before any law passes.

What do you think? Would legally binding prenups be beneficial or should the UK maintain its status quo?

Source

What British Brides Shell Out For Their Big Day

SavvySugar — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 08:02:07 -0700

The $30,000 average price tag on an American wedding seems high to many of us, but compared to what? Everything is relative according to our location and budget flexibility, so for some fun food-for-thought let's consider what UK brides are spending on their nuptials. Taking into account the dumpy dollar and its low value compared to the British pound, life as a US bride continues to brighten against that alternative. Find out how much the average bride across the Atlantic pays for their wedding when you

Should This Woman Feel Stiffed by Her Boyfriend?

SavvySugar — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 06:29:54 -0700

Aside from getting my daily dose of DearSugar, I also like to read Dear Prudence's column on Slate that's published every Thursday. Readers submit questions to her and she provides her advice in a witty, straightforward way, and one of yesterday's questions especially caught my eye.

The reader, who calls herself "Stiffed," is a stay-at-home single parent and her boyfriend is employed. They usually go dutch when out to eat, but lately he's been going to her home for dinner a few nights a week and she cooks "nice dinners and serves beer, wine, chocolates, etc." She says normally it wouldn't occur to her to ask for anything in return, but the day after she provided a $70 - $80 dinner for two they went out to a $42 lunch where he put $20 toward the bill. She brings up the point that it's probably cheaper for her when the two of them eat out because they're splitting the bill instead of having to foot the entire thing, and wants to know how she can approach the topic without being demanding.

Would you feel as bitter and frustrated as Stiffed if you were in her position? Would you say anything to your boyfriend?

Source

Maxed Out: Clean Slate Wedding

SavvySugar — Tue, 27 May 2008 13:09:40 -0700

This episode of Maxed Out features Tabetha and Greg, a couple in their mid-twenties planning to get married in exactly 14 months. The only problem is that the two of them together equal one big financial mess. Tabetha has a growing pile of debt that is currently at $34,000 on top of her mortgage, while Greg can't offer any advice because he knows absolutely nothing about managing money. He's a debt-free student living at home and gets an allowance from his parents, and he and Tabetha hadn't ever talked about money until recently. They don't want to start their lives together with old financial baggage, so in order to have a clean slate wedding they call in Allison Griffiths to work her magic. Find out how she helps the pair when you

What Would You Do If Your Ideal Wedding Was Out of Reach?

SavvySugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 07:54:07 -0700

From the walk down the aisle to the last drop of champagne at the reception, weddings are some of the most joyous and memorable celebrations — but it can cost a dreadful amount of money to produce the wedding you picture in your head. If you couldn't afford to pay for something close to what you consider to be your ideal wedding, which of these options would you choose? Bella Pictures

What Would You Do If Your Ideal Wedding Was Out of Reach?

Take out a wedding loan.

Ask to borrow money from family or friends.

Elope.

Put off the wedding until we had enough saved.

Create the best wedding possible on our budget.

Is It Harder to Make Ends Meet When You're Single?

SavvySugar — Tue, 13 May 2008 07:56:56 -0700

When you're initially dating someone you may find that your spending habits change — going out more often means you're spending more than usual at restaurants and bars, and you're probably shopping more for date night wares. If all goes well and you eventually decide to make the co-habitation jump, you may find that life becomes a little less expensive. You probably don't go out as often as you did in the beginning of your relationship (especially if you were living with roommates) and most things get split down the middle — rent and bills are much more manageable when they're divided in half.

The Guardian recently published an article called "Who Can Afford to Stay Single Now," that touches upon the financial issues single guys and gals face and why, financially speaking, it can be tougher to come out in the black when you're going it alone. It mentions several examples of singles getting the short end of the financial stick — some hotels charge single supplements, insurance policies can give couples a financial advantage, and buying groceries for one can be difficult in terms of buying just the right amount as to not be wasteful.

Single gals, do you think making ends meet would be easier if you were part of a couple? Those of you sharing a home with your guy or have in the past, have you found that relationship status makes a difference financially? Has anyone ever known someone to move in with her guy because of money reasons?

Source

Your Two Cents: How Do You Feel About Prenups?

SavvySugar — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:12:27 -0700

Prenuptial agreements among Hollywood's couples awaiting the walk down the aisle generally don't cause much of a stir, but when it comes to engaged couples who aren't among the rich and famous prenups seem to have a thicker haze surrounding them. Those asked to sign tend to think their loved ones are asking them to put a value on themselves, and what's more, they're calling the future of the marriage into question. Some are more sensitive than others though, as there are some among the newly engaged who think a prenup is sensible with such high divorce rates as a reality. Where do you fall? How would you feel if your fiancé mentioned a prenup as part of the deal? To see all of our wedding season coverage, check out IDoSugar.Source

Your Two Cents: How Do You Feel About Prenups?

I'd never sign a prenup. They're insulting and unromantic.

In some cases it makes sense, but it would depend on the situation.

Prenups are sensible and are just another part of the legal union of marriage.

Other. See my comments below.

To Tell or Not to Tell: Should Your Boyfriend Know About Your Money Status?

SavvySugar — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 06:49:38 -0700

Money magazine's "Do the Right Thing" column this week featured this intriguing question from a female reader.

I’m divorced and have quite a bit of money. Several years ago I was involved with a guy who, once he learned of my wealth, used me as his personal ATM. Recently I started seeing someone new, and I think I could get serious about him. Given past experience, I’m thinking it might be better not to tell him about my money. Would that be ethical, or is there a point at which I have to speak up?

The couple who writes the column answered that she absolutely needs to disclose her wealth to her boyfriend if the relationship is getting serious. They suggest that in order to get an accurate assessment of the man she's dating, she needs to be sure that he isn't threatened by her wealth. While I understand that honesty is important in building trusting relationships, I'm not sure that it's necessary to disclose the status of your bank account to someone you're not sure will be in your life in a couple of years. How would you answer this hesitant, almost-in-love woman's question? To tell, or not to tell?

Source

Your Two Cents: Have You Committed Financial Infidelity?

SavvySugar — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:36:51 -0700

Financial infidelity is committed when you intentionally hide your spending from your husband because you're afraid of what he'll say about it. Have you paid cash for items that you didn't want to appear on your joint credit card bill? Or maybe you've slyly disposed of shopping bags or receipts?If you've agreed to combine finances with your husband, then chances are your tactics won't go forever unnoticed. Sure, it's great to treat yourself once in a while, but it's best to be honest about it to avoid any money arguments pitted around your lie. Source

Your Two Cents: Have You Committed Financial Infidelity?

Yes, I've committed financial infidelity and been caught in the act!

Yes, but I've never been caught.

No, I'm completely open about my spending habits.

Other. See my comments below.

Bride's Guide to Tipping Wedding Vendors

SavvySugar — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 12:59:47 -0700

Just because you're shelling out a small fortune for your wedding and feel like the next dollar you part with is going to make you seriously nauseous, it doesn't mean that tipping etiquette can be thrown out the window. While you're focused on the big-picture price, your vendors are each providing a unique service and you, gracious bride, must be prepared to tip when appropriate. Just as your Friday night dinner bill jumps when tax and tip are added to the total, your vendor costs will also increase when you add these two Ts into the mix. Take them into consideration when building your budget so you don't end up having to dip into your honeymoon fund to tip your vendors. Discover what's good tipping etiquette when you

Should Your Guest List Include Your Boss and Co-Workers?

SavvySugar — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 12:33:20 -0700

Ah, the guest list — something that should be so simple in theory that can often turn into a nightmare of political distress, and is the cause of so many lamenting brides-to-be wishing they could just elope. While the average guest list has 153 names on it, that number doesn't seem so forgiving when you take in to account all of the family and friends whom without your event would feel incomplete. The question of inviting your boss and your co-workers is one that can be tougher to solve than the kid question because of the possible repercussions, and the last thing you want to face when you get back from your honeymoon is to be met with awkwardness at work. To see my take on whether or not office folks should receive a coveted place on your guest list, just

How Much Do You Know About the Average Wedding?

SavvySugar — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:34:19 -0700

Most brides-to-be are familiar with the wedding websites owned by The Knot Inc., and the company just released the results of their 2007 survey that questioned over 20,000 newly-wed couples nationwide. While the results aren't meant to serve as a guideline for how you should handle your own wedding, it's interesting to see where you fall in terms of spending and planning among other couples around the country. Find out how much you know about the average wedding when you take this quiz!

To see all of our wedding season coverage, check out IDoSugar.

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Cooling the Wedding Chitchat at Work

SavvySugar — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 11:20:09 -0700

Unless they're your work friends, approach personal wedding conversations at work with the mentality that not everyone wants to be filled in on the details. Because your wedding is such a big event for you it's only natural that your co-workers will know this fact about your personal life, even if they don't really know you personally. Weddings have that strange way of being common knowledge in the workplace, it's probably the one thing your co-workers (not to be confused with your work friends) will constantly ask about when you're in a small-talk situation. Find out how to handle these situations when you

Working Girl's Guide to Wedding Planning, Part II

SavvySugar — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 09:29:51 -0700

The number one thing to keep in mind as a working girl in the midst of planning her wedding: delegate. Believe me, I know it's hard to release your death grip from the reigns of planning, but assigning a few responsibilities to willing family members and your fiancé will do the opposite of what you think. Disaster won't ensue — in fact, you'll probably enjoy the lightened load and will be able to focus more on getting ahead at the office. And if you're a little Type A about your flawless wedding, just reassure yourself by noting that the parts you're responsible for planning will be just so. To see my other tips about juggling your work and wedding planning just

Working Girl's Guide to Wedding Planning, Part I

SavvySugar — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 11:23:42 -0700

Everyone always says the time between your engagement and wedding will fly by — between work, wedding planning, and everything in between there's barely time to come up for air. It's important to keep your priorities in order and recognize that while your wedding represents one of the biggest days in your life, you need your job for your everyday livelihood and can't let those responsibilities take a backseat. While wedding planning can be stressful at times, think of it as an extracurricular activity that you should try your best to leave out of the office.

It can be tempting to use your company's resources to help you achieve ultimate wedding planning efficiency. There's a fax machine 20 feet away from you and empty conference rooms just waiting for you to call your florist with an idea that just hit you. It may all seem pretty harmless, taking 15 minutes out of your work day to accomplish some wedding business, but put yourself in your employer's shoes before you start reserving the conference room for you and your cell every day at the same time. To see why I think this is important just

Do You Need Wedding Insurance?

SavvySugar — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 15:32:13 -0700

Sometimes extra insurance is just a scam to get you to pay more money, but sometimes it can be a helpful tool in easing your mind about the possibility of disaster. Like opting for insurance on your rental car for a few extra bucks a day that could save you thousands, wedding insurance is a policy that covers your wedding financially should something go downhill.

It usually costs between $125 and $500 to protect yourselves against losing a whole lot more. Not all wedding insurance policies cover the same things, so be sure to read the fine print of all the policies you're considering. Wedding insurance should cover the things you don't have control over and could make the little bridezilla in you rear her furious head. Find out what those things are when you

Don't Let Your Wedding Budget Get You Down

SavvySugar — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 11:05:42 -0700

The vendors at the New York magazine Weddings Showcase in Manhattan said their businesses are in full bloom as wedding season inches nearer. While many brides are busy toning up for their stroll down the aisle, there's no sign of them toning down their budgets in the midst of the poor credit and housing markets. As one planner pointed out, people will still get married during recessions. What caught my attention was the quote from one bride who told CNBC, "I had a very small budget in mind so the financial situation isn't playing such a big role. It's quite conservative at $20,000."

But "very small" and "conservative" compared to what? It's important for brides to stay focused on their own wedding — without letting their friends' wedding plans and budgets skew how great your wedding will be. So what if their save the dates look like actual wedding invitations? It doesn't mean people will be any less excited to receive your sliver of paper announcing your special day — and it will only take up one magnet on their refrigerators! Your wedding will be a beautiful occasion no matter how many dollars it took to make it happen.

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Maxed Out: Engaged to be Married, But Wedded in Debt

SavvySugar — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 14:36:10 -0700

Since we just finished up Engagement Week here on the Sugar Network, this episode of Maxed Out especially stood out to me. It featured Valerie and Jason, an engaged couple in their 20s whose existing combined debt and additional wedding debt was making them frantic. They say that their goal is to start their marriage off on the right foot, but they're pushing themselves even further into debt with a $25,000 wedding and no budget to speak of — Jason says they're winging the wedding expenses and hoping that their guests will be generous with cash gifts. To see how financial guru Allison Griffiths helps the couple overcome their money-related stresses and live happily-ever-after just

Talking About Money As an Engaged Couple

SavvySugar — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 15:17:08 -0700

For many couples, handling a wedding budget is the first big money conversation of the relationship. Sure, a lot of couples live together pre-engagement and have household expenses to pay, but there's a big difference between splitting the cable bill and considering both yours and his priorities in terms of shared money. He wants to arrive in the stretch Hummer with his boys, but you want the wedding day Jimmy Choos and your wedding budget can't handle both — these are just smaller versions of what you'll have to tackle together financially in the near future. To see which money topics you should cover before saying "I Do" just